Get This Man a Doctor

These past few days in Miami I’ve had the opportunity to cruise its mean streets. I saw these bus benches on the side of the road advertising a service called “Google BenchAds”. I have to keep up on the online marketing world, so the prospect of Google entering into the physical media market seemed like a big news story.

The picture reads, Your Ad Here: Google “Benchads” 1-800-4-BENCHADS. Become Part of Nadel’s Growing Media Co.

Google is one of the largest providers of online marketing media on the Internet. AdWords was launched in 2000 to provide a revenue stream, but in 2002 it was redone to conform with Google’s user-centric philosophy. Rather than deal with large corporations trying to target large demographics, as most marketing had previously done, Google AdWords allows small companies to target individual keywords. Although the effects of this revolutionary method have been underutilized and barely understood by marketers, its success has been part of the (dare I say it) leitmotif of the past five years of Internet advertising—the emphasis of direct communication with the consumer over demographics and uniformity. Of course, the fact that the past five years of Internet development in general has been focusing on communication and individuality is hardly a coincidence.

But enough preaching, the point is that my first reaction to seeing that bench was to imagine Google participating in some form of real-world corollary to AdWords, probably linked with its online twin. I imagined marketers being able to buy keywords and also checking the “BenchAds” option, selecting geographic regions where they would like their ads to be shown.

So I got home and starting researching, finding a few people who also found the benches, but still no indication that Google was associated with them.

I finally found the company’s site when it dawned on me that, distracted by my fantasy world, I had misread the benches. The benches weren’t associated with Google—the company was simply providing a resource location in the form of a search engine query. So I was just supposed to Google for the word “benchads”.

It’s still an interesting case in Internet marketing, considering how domain names are overemphasized. Some marketers seem to think that people are going to 1) Remember their domain name, and, 2) Type it into a browser when they get home. While a memorizable domain name is necessary, it is rarely useful to publish it or expect people to use it. The most common way we share sites (other than hyperlinks) is to say something like, “Just search for X”, where X is some unique keyword guaranteed to bring up the site as the first result. So I’m glad to see that some marketing companies out there are actually competent enough to realize that.

Well, I didn’t really feel comfortable writing about which schools I did and didn’t get into, but this is supposed to be a blog about my experience with grad school. So to remain true to that purpose, I have to make a post about how I am going to be rejected from almost every school I applied to.

The rejections have begun rolling in in the form of emails. It’s kind of ruining my vacation, but at least I’ll finally have some closure. I knew I wasn’t a very strong candidate, but I was secretly hoping that this might be one of those years with little competition. I was clearly wrong.

Out of the ten schools I applied to, my fifth and sixth choices just rejected me. Since they’re pretty much ranked by how competitive their programs are, that only leaves the bottom four.

My biggest fear now is being rejected from all ten schools, which will pretty much end my academic career. I don’t expect that I will be have the strength to apply again, and after another year I will be an even more undesirable candidate.

After some reflection, it was my lack of dedication that led to these rejections. In the three years since graduation I have had to deal with more adversity than I faced in college, and one thing it has elucidated is that I simply did not work hard enough during those four years. I only hope that I have the strength to overcome this failure in the future.

I’m in Miami, spending the next week at my Mom’s place. Currently it is 32 degrees and snowing in New York. In Miami it is a cold day—probably won’t get into the 80’s. You hate me don’t you?

Or whatever they’re called. Since New York is such a Catholic city, I’ve decided to participate in this whole Lent thing for the first year ever. I mean… why should the Catholics have all the fun?

Since I’ve never done this before, my first vow was to give up my Catholicism for forty days. I figured that would be something easy to start out my first Lent—I probably wouldn’t have to repent or anything like that.

I don’t exactly know the rules, but I don’t think you can take back a vow. Which sucks, because an article on the New Scientist blog inspired me to pick an every more relevant vice to give up, namely stupid Internet videos. I’ve actually been doing pretty well—I had my first temptation from Satan today in the form of a video of a guy getting kicked in the face. But I persevered and didn’t watch the video and get +1 Holy or whatever.

So to clarify, a stupid Internet video includes anything on YouTube (including, sadly, my new favorite show, Infinite Solutions). Stupid Internet videos do not include Ze Frank. Stupid Internet videos do include anything on CNN.

Give me strength O Lord baby Jesus…